The 4 Greatest Christian Relationship Advice for Singles I Received
Singles who love the Lord will likely be confused by all of the Christian relationship tips and advice out there. Who wouldn’t be? With every newly self-proclaimed relationship guru comes a new philosophy on relationships. Even within the church there seems to be as many relationship philosophies as there are denominations!
What is a Christian single who loves Jesus to do?
Ask. Seek. Knock.
Since I cannot pray on your stead, I will do the next best thing.
I will offer you four of the best relationship advice I ever received. Like with every advice, take what works and toss what doesn’t. These advice helped me find (and attract) my amazing wife and we hope others will be blessed by them too.
4. Choose Worldview and Values Over Interests
So often people are interested who they “click” with. They look for common interests and mistake this for compatibility. The truth is people with the same interests can only go so far together. Before long, they will find out what really drives themselves and their potential partners. Marriage is like a three-legged race. It helps to know what direction your partner wants to head towards. Interests are skin deep compared to worldviews and values. This is why it is important find someone with a worldview and values that matches yours.
Where are you headed in life and why?
What principles guide your life?
What are your most important values?
Knowing your worldview and values will help you in your search for your partner.
3. Become complete and content in Jesus.
Like Paul, learn to be content with much and with little (Philippians 4:11–13). I add the importance of learning to be content whether single or married. No person will fill that God-sized shape in your heart, but God. Many hope for their future spouses to “complete” them, but they hope in vain.
In fact, who you are now at your core will very likely be who you will be when married. If you’re lonely now, you’ll be lonely when married. If you’re depressed now, you’ll be depressed when married. If you’re a control freak now, you’ll be a control freak when you’re married.
Of course, there are exceptions, but let’s not make exceptions rules.
Bottom line: It’s not fair to put such a burden on another person. Learn to be complete and content in Him.
2. Run for God as hard as you can…and see who’s next to you.
Not everyone is as passionate for God as you are. In order to not be “unequally yoked,” find out what you are made of. Go for God as best as you can. Serve Him with all you got and see who keeps up. As you give your all to God over a period of time, turn your head and sees who’s there. A suitable partner may just be a few feet away.
When I was a youth pastor, I made a lot of changes. Looking back, I admit I should have been more patient with some changes, but I went full speed giving a lot of people a ministry “whiplash.” However, there was one particular female youth teacher, who was able to keep up with every change. She could see why I was making the change and was quick to follow. And she still keeps up with me today!
1. Become the person your partner deserves.
Early in college, I was ready to approach someone I was interested in. I told my pastor all about it. I went to him for advice, but honestly I just wanted his support. After telling him about all the reasons why I wanted to approach her, he asked me a question that changed the next decade of my life.
He asked, “Imagine right now you were her father. Would you give her to yourself?”
In all honesty, I said, “No.”
He said, “Why?”
As I was about to answer, he said, “That’s what you need to work on.”
So I did. For the next ten plus years. I worked on character issues I needed to work on. I didn’t date in my twenties. I worked on myself. This may have been a tad bit extreme. In no way am I saying you have to follow my example. This is just how it worked out for me and I have no regrets.
Enjoy your season and…
With all the Christian relationship advices out there, it can become quite confusing when it comes to this topic. In the end, we trust God knows what He is doing and we do our parts as best as we can.
If you’re a Christian single, enjoy your season and prepare well for the next!
Also, if you’re interested in more Christian dating advice and teachings, Andy Stanley has a great series called “Love, Sex, and Dating.”
Here are the 4 messages to this series: